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Special Selections from The Cabin

All Poems by © 1997-1998

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Two Hearts
In Remembrance
Angel's Prayer
Hidden Gardens
Between The Dreams
If Only
Where The Day Takes You
A Song For Jennifer
Silent Screams
North, South, East and West
Lines on a Page
Heaven and Hell
View From The Hole
The Abyss
My Friend
I Speak
A Different Reality
Chasing Shadows
Two Poets
Choosy Beggars
Time- Part VII (A New Beginning)
The Wolf
In the Shadows
Just Another Writer
Coffee Shop
Broken Rules

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Two Hearts

Two hearts lie broken, twisted,
Needing just to say goodbye,
But something holds them frozen
In the light of children's eyes.

Pain and fear reign over those
Who have no wings to fly.
So grounded by their own regrets,
The let their conscience die.

The black and white has turned to gray
Between the rights and wrongs,
And lines are crossed where promises
Were once love's siren songs.

Where one would want the freedom
Of a childhood left behind,
The other holds on tightly
To the dreams so hard to find.

And in their desperate moments,
They reach out for something more,
Grasping lifelines of confusion
Through a slowly closing door.

Two hearts lie tangled, gasping
In the heat of summer's fire,
And passion rises through the fear,
Forbidden flames burn higher.

Soft words are spoken in the night
And promises are made,
Sealed by tears of painful joy
What price must now be paid?

And witness to the night's affair
The stars may hold the key,
But keep their silent vigil there
As moonlit shadows flee.

Where one would hold a dream untold
In fear of losing all,
The other holds on shamelessly
To break the final fall.

Now words unspoken feed the flame
Of passions gone astray,
And all hearts beat in rhythm
To this lonely passion play.


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In Remembrance

What lies beyond the life we live
With every passing day,
When all the brightness of our dreams,
Turns cloudy, then to gray?

When storms rage in our darkness,
And we see no place to hide,
When all that we have lost
Seems more than what we find.

When every star within the sky,
Grows cold and far away,
And words don't hold the meaning
For the things we need to say.

Beyond the life we've come to know,
Are the answers for us all.
Sometimes the ones we lose
Have only heard their gentle call.

They reach beyond the earthly chains,
That bound their spirits tight,
And spread their wings in silent grace,
To set their souls in flight.

And far above the angels smile,
Their arms held open wide,
To welcome loved ones home again,
To hold them safe inside.

The flutter of their wings sends
Memories scattered on the wind,
So they may swirl around us,
In remembrance of a friend.

So hold their memories tightly,
Like a candle in the night,
And let the flame remind you
Of the one eternal light.


In memory of Curtis Foltz- June 3, 1980 - September 3, 1996

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Angel's Prayer

Of Life and Love and all I've known
Within this mortal world,
There lives an Angel forged of gold,
Whose seen my dreams unfurled.

She stands in silent witness to
The pain within my soul,
And guides my troubled thoughts with care
Where peaceful waters flow.

Beyond the darkened visions of a past
With soft regrets,
To places never known before,
Where future hope reflects.

A mirror of my inner self,
A twin of my desires,
This Angel holds a candle tight,
To light the hidden fires.

She weaves a golden cord around
The fissures of my heart,
To bind the fractured dreams I've held
With love and gentle thoughts.

Of every trusted friend I've known,
And every love before,
She's given more than anyone,
And asks for nothing more.

The beauty of her essence
Is a garden of delights,
Adding color and enchantment,
To the dark and lonely nights.

Her words are softened petals,
That caress my deepest fears,
Her soul a cup of friendship
To collect my many tears.

Her eyes are pools of comfort,
And have shared my deepest dreams,
Like stars within the heavens,
Casting light upon the scenes.

Her voice, a song of laughter,
Giving joy to troubled hearts,
In rhythm to the power,
That united souls impart.
Her love a peaceful blanket,
To relieve the lonely chills,
A warmth that knows no boundaries,
The empty spaces filled.

These gifts my Angel sent to me,
A message strong and true,
Of friendship, hope, and thankfulness,
And peaceful thoughts renewed.

This Angel's Prayer I give to her,
Though less than she deserves,
I offer her the tenderness,
Held close within these words:

"Thank God for you and all you've done,
You're with me every day,
A special kind of friend you are,
To walk with me this way.

And every path I tread upon,
I'll keep you by my side,
My beautiful reminder of,
The place where faith resides.

Where truth and love are joined as one,
Upon a higher plane,
And voices speak of love we share,
With sweet and soft refrain.

I pray you'll sense the happiness,
You've added to my soul.
The colors of the rainbow pale,
Beside your golden glow.
I promise I will hold you close,
Through all the dreams we seek,
And every breath I've yet to breathe,
You'll feel upon your cheek.

And should we ever reach the stars,
We'll hold them in our hands,
Like diamonds of remembrance,
To light our earthly plans.

We'll bask within their crystal glow,
And walk the sands of time,
Side by side and close to heart,
 We'll share the dreams we find.

I'll treasure every moment spent,
Within your celestial wings,
And know I'm safe amongst your thoughts,
Whatever the future brings.

And every time you're lonely,
 I'll be there to comfort you,
I pray that you will understand,
That I'm your Angel too."

"For Michelle"

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Hidden Gardens

A world with simple pleasures seems so hard to comprehend,
So many doors I knock upon, but few will let me in.
And in my search for answers to the questions that I find,
Sometimes I get entangled with the dreams I left behind.

We sail the oceans of our minds to shores both near and far,
Adrift upon our inner tides, to find out who we are.
But if I should become the person I was meant to be,
How would I know that I had reached my final destiny?

Would there be someone waiting there to hold me in their arms,
To dry the tears I shed and keep me safe and sane and warm?
Or would I find myself alone still searching for the truth,
When all the dust of paths I walked has settled on my youth?

So many walls I build against the furies of the night,
And every tear I shed can add a layer to it's height.
And then one day I find I've nearly locked myself inside,
Afraid to let the walls come down, I've found a place to hide.

Protecting what I hold so close, afraid to let it show,
My deepest hidden gardens with the flowers of my soul.
Protective of their beauty while I tend to them with care,
While dreaming of another soul whose beauty I can share.

At times I step beyond the walls, but still I lock the door,
So no one enters while I'm gone in search of something more.
But all I see around me are the walls that others build,
A world of brick and mortar with the doors so tightly sealed.

And in the streets abandoned, I am forced to walk alone,
In shadows of discomfort, 'twixt the castles made of stone.
The darkened alleys hold no clues to what may lie within,
And on the air I smell the stench of every mortal sin.

So on I walk through streets aflame with fires of doubt and fear,
With all the wasted love I spent reflecting in my tears.
While ashes fall upon my heart, to muffle every beat,
So others never hear the sound, like drums of soft defeat.

Sometimes I hear the footsteps of another weary soul,
Who chanced to leave the shelter where their hidden gardens grow.
But when my eyes have fallen on their sad and empty shell,
I only hear the echoes of another's private hell.

I talk awhile to be polite and pass the time of day,
Then nod my head to say goodbye, and go my separate way.
For all along I sensed that nothing more was meant to be,
Their walls are much too high and they don't offer me the key.

A city full of strangers huddle quietly at their doors,
Afraid of my intentions, so my knocks they still ignore.
In silent desperation, holding tightly to their pain,
Their fear of losing everything forsakes what they could gain.

Why can't we let the walls come down, to set our spirits free?
We're all the same and in the end, that's all we'll ever be.
The tears we cry, the love we need, the essence of our heart,
Why must we hide behind the walls that keep us all apart?

Imagine for a moment, if we had the wings to fly,
And every hidden garden was exposed before our eyes.
We'd see the awesome beauty from an angel's point of view,
A rainbow brought to earth with every color bright and true.

A glowing magic carpet joining every heart's desire,
The palette of our soul's intent to take us ever higher.
Above the walls of fear we build to hold us safe within,
Then maybe we could share the keys to let the others in.


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Between The Dreams

Beyond the distant memories,
Of a world we once had shared.
I searched for deeper meanings,
Through the dreams that took me there.

You lay between the spaces,
Of the dreams I had each night.
In silence cloaked with darkness,
Far removed from conscious sight.

But in that gentle darkness,
You remained a shining star.
A tiny point of light,
That traveled with me very far.

And all the years I held that light,
Within my longing heart,
Though tortured by your memory
As we drifted far apart.

The months turned into years
That led me on my chosen way,
As the mist of time gone by
Began to shroud those golden days.

Still there within the haze
Your image floated 'cross my mind.
And all the love I found
Was less than what I left behind.

Our lives become a journey
We must follow to the end.
And paths we chance upon
Can sometimes circle back again.

The dreams that don't come true
Become the rocks we stumble on,
But sometimes still we find the dream
That leads the way back home.

 Between those dreams unfinished
I kept my eyes upon the glow.
That light of distant memories,
Of a love I once had known.

And then one day I realized
My dream could still come true.
So I set my sight upon that star,
That led me back to you.


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If Only

If only we could walk amongst the dreams within the night,
And hold our gentle passions when we wake at morning light,
We'd find some comfort in the day and hold it deep within,
To keep us safe from lonely fears 'till we could dream again.

If only we could find a place to lay our minds to rest,
Where we could feel the warmth of love in every whispered breath,
We'd surely conquer time and space for all eternity,
And solve the riddles of the heart with all it's mysteries.

If only we could soar above the mountain peaks so high,
And fly abreast of eagles through the early morning sky,
We'd capture rays of sunlight on the tips of spreading wings,
And paint a glowing rainbow that would make the angels sing.

If only we could build a bridge to join the separate worlds,
Of every soul who walks alone in search of dreams unfurled,
We'd bring them all together so their thoughts would be as one,
And drown within the magic of the paradise to come.

If only we could see beyond the visions of today,
And touch the distant future that is sure to come our way,
We'd light a candle on a path for everyone to see,
So they could be the person now, that they were meant to be.

If only we could find a way to catch the flowing tears,
Of every broken heart we've known throughout the many years,
We'd scatter them amongst the clouds to form a peaceful rain,
To fall upon the flowers so the tears aren't shed in vain.

If only there was something more that we could understand,
About the dreams we've often held within our trembling hands,
We'd touch the light that every soul must someday walk towards,
And guide them in their journey with the rhythm of our words.

If only you were here with me, or I was there with you,
I'm sure we'd find a million things that we could surely do,
To make the world a better place for others yet to find,
So maybe they would also try to leave some love behind.

"In Memory of Levon Parker"

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Where The Day Takes You

Do you know where the day may take you,
	Do you follow it to the end?
Do you feel a touch of madness,
	Does the darkness hide your sins?

--- (Every 26 seconds...) ---

It's a long and lonely highway,
	When the mean streets take your soul,
And there are no walls around you,
	And there's no place left to go.

--- (a child...) ---

When the garden has no roses,
	When the rainbow holds no gold,
There's a price you pay for freedom
	Where your dreams are bought and sold,

--- (runs away...) ---

Where the future has no meaning
	And the past stays locked away,
You may not wake up tomorrow
	So you live just for today.

--- (from home.) ---

But you go where the day may take you,
	And you follow it to the end.
You may feel a touch of sadness
	As the darkness comes again.

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A Song For Jennifer

It seems like yesterday
When I last saw your face,
A bright spark of hope
In this darkened place.

A look of innocence
Like I've never seen,
Then the spark was gone
You put an end to your dream.

A season has passed, since you went away,
And I walk the grounds, where we once played.
You're home now, you suffer pain no more,
But the memory of you, in my heart, is stored.

In this world gone mad, no one heard your voice,
So in silence you dealt with your final choice.
And in silence you live, in my dreams of the past,
And no light can shine through the shadow you cast.

Were the questions you had
Just too hard to ask,
Or were the answers you found
Wearing too many masks?

You might have found shelter
From the cold falling rain.
But too much was lost
And nothing was gained.

And now that it's over, and now that you're gone,
I have all your memories, but still I'm alone.
The fate that you followed, left no room for me,
So I toast you in sorrow, may your spirit be free.

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Silent Screams

The streets are loud with silent screams
  Beneath the moonless night.
They glisten with a million tears
  Below the cold street lights.

We quickly find our way back home
  Escaping to our dreams.
And leave the streets abandoned
  To the reapers of our schemes.

We find our welcome comfort
  In the warmth of walls we build
To shelter us from all our fears,
  A brick and mortar shield.

Surrounded by our peace of mind,
  We lock ourselves inside.
And live our soft realities
  We worked so hard to find.

But just outside the boundary
  Of our ivory tower life,
A serpent from the garden
  Pulls a long and jagged knife.

He holds it close against the throat
  Of a child who went astray,
And wandered from the shelter
  To become a runaway.

His blood flows swift and sure
  To form a puddle at his feet,
And then he dies a lonely death
  A victim of the street.

A block away a mother screams
  In pain of giving birth,
She knows she'll never finish school
  Or find her sense of worth.

Her baby cries in protest of
  The life he'll have to live.
He'll grow to hate to world he knows
  With little love to give.

And down the street the sirens scream
  In perfect harmony.
A desperate race to save a life
  From drive by destiny.

Not far away a homeless man
  Lies quietly down to sleep.
His bed a filthy alleyway
  Where no one sees him weep.

His sole possessions by his side
  He dreams of distant hope.
A ship that sails beyond his reach,
  But still he learns to cope.

And somewhere in the distance
  Bullets streak across the sky,
To find their fatal target
  As another dealer dies.

His life was lived beneath the shame
  Of all the lives he trashed,
And ended as he turned his back
  To count his sacred cash.

We'll hear it on the morning news,
  Another fateful night.
Much like the ones that came before
  Forgotten, out of sight.

Tomorrow's yet another day
  Beyond the silent screams.
The streets will look much brighter
  Than the darkness makes them seem.

But in the shadows of our mind
  We feel a sense of pain,
And wonder if the lives we lost
  Are worth the life we gain.

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North, South, East and West

There's a girl in West Virginia,
And her daddy works the mine.
He brings the coal dust home to her,
No gold in there to find.

The money earned buys food for thought.
But not much more it seems.
The life he wants but cannot touch
She lives within her dreams.

There's a boy in Eastern Europe,
Stands in line to buy his bread.
Sees a picture there of Lenin,
Another hero of the dead.

And he dreams of distant freedom,
In a land so far away.
Like that town in West Virginia,
Where the miners work for pay.

And the man in South Dakota,
Lived his whole life on the farm.
Faith in God and fertilizer,
Kept the family safe from harm.

But the tax man has the papers,
And the bank still holds the loan.
Couldn't make that final payment,
So tomorrow the farm is gone.

Today in Northern Ireland,
A farm boy builds a bomb,
To pay a final debt to men
Who killed his dad and mom.

They'll blame it on the I. R. A.
And other men will die.
We'll hear it on the evening news,
And never blink an eye.

West, East, South and North,
The price is paid but what's it worth?
Different worlds for all to see,
But still the same reality.

In North Korea life goes on,
Despite the years of hell.
Rice still grows and children play
Where bombs and rockets fell.

A blonde haired girl with Asian eyes
Is taunted by her friends.
Though Mother Nature made her peace,
The fighting never ends. 

South Africa is burning down,
The flames light up the night.
Fear and hate, the way of life
Between the black and white.

A question of equality,
With answers hard to find.
So lives are lost and spirits crushed,
And peace is left behind.

The Middle East is up in arms,
They die for barren land.
The kingdoms fight their Holy Wars,
For castles made of sand.

The world looks on and chooses sides
In wars that have no end.,
God's chosen people choose their fate,
No message does He send.

The Golden West sits in the haze,
Beneath the setting sun,
Where hours are spent in traffic jams,
When the working day is done.

The drive by shootings make the news,
And children pay the price.
The drug of choice this week is Crack,
Or was it Crank, or Ice?

North, South, East or West,
Who's the strongest, who's the best?
Lives are lived and lives are lost
And no one totals up the cost.

In South Chicago tempers flare,
And sirens pierce the night.
Blood runs freely in the streets,
Two gangs have had a fight.

Some kids will spend the night in jail,
It makes their lives seem real.
Their families broke up years ago,
The scars will never heal.

Life's great in North America,
And freedom leads the way.
In God We Trust, but bombs are built
With taxes that we pay.

The politicians say the things
They think we want to hear.
But ask a simple question and
The answer's not so clear.

A wall comes down in West Berlin,
And East Berlin as well.
A symbol of another time
When freedom went to hell.

And hope is high but fear remains,
The scars still run so deep.
So many seeds were planted there,
What will the future reap?

In East L.A. a newborn screams,
And many hear his cry.
The mother walks away in tears ,
Tomorrow he will die.

Her home is in the city streets,
The park bench is her bed.
At least the child will never know
The life his mother led.

South, North, West and East,
Who pays the price, who feeds the beast?
Some win, some lose, it's just a game,
And in the end we're all the same.

We'll see the sun rise in the East
To start another day,
And go about our lives much like
We did just yesterday.

And time will pass along the way,
Like all the time before.
We'll dream the dreams we always dream
But hope for something more.

Then as the sun sinks in the West,
We'll think of what we've done.
Of all the battles fought that day
We'll count the few we won.

The North Star shines it's ancient light
On all humanity.
But darkness in the heart of man
Is deeper than the sea.

It touches every human soul,
Of every faith and land,
As all the pain of life and death
Is felt by every man.

Somewhere another child is born,
His cries ring through the night.
He knows no fear or prejudice,
No thoughts of wrong or right.

But in his soul a dream lives on
Of destiny and fate,
Where peace and hope and love will join
To fight a war on hate.

North, South, East and West,
We're all a part of all the rest.
As all are born, so all shall die,
While life goes on and time goes by.

O N E         W O R L D,
O n e    W o r 1 d,
One world,
one world...

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Lines on a Page

Lines on my face
And lines on a page,
Tell separate silent stories
Of one man's silent rage.

So funny how it happens
And sad how it becomes,
When two dreams joined together
Turn into separate ones,

And two hearts once in rhythm
Start playing different songs,
And no one cares or wonders
Who was right or who was wrong.

When shadows cross my vision
Like clouds across the sun,
The dreams grow old and wither
And another day is done.

But someone, out there somewhere,
Once said, when love is gone
What once you sought together,
You now must seek alone,

For happiness is fleeting
And it leaves a fiery tail.
You move on ever forward
Or you burn in fiery hell.

And all the years you suffered,
And all the tears you cried,
Mean nothing to the future
Or all the dreams that died.

So in your selfish wisdom,
You hold on to the key,
And lock the doors behind you,
As you struggle to be free.
It's just another crossroad,
And just another choice,
And buried in your conscience
Is just another voice.

Another line upon my face,
Like bars set in a cage,
But slipping out between the bars
Are lines upon a page.

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Heaven and Hell

So, so you thought you could tell
Heaven from Hell,
What did you think you would feel?
What did the darkness reveal,
How many dreams did you sell?

And now, now you're out on your own,
Trying to find your way home,
Can you find your way back,
Through the silent attacks,
Can you do it alone?

Out on your own,
A million miles from your home,
Can you do it alone?
Can you find your way home?

No one knows who you are,
You have traveled so far,
Trying to reach for the stars,
No matter how near or how far.

Here, here you sit by the fire,
Consumed by a distant desire,
Faith in what you believe,
What you try to perceive,
While your dreams take you higher.

How, how do you deal with the fear?
When every day is a year,
Every moment that dies,
Is your life passing by,
Can you see your way clear?

Lost there alone,
A million miles from your home,
Are you still all alone?
Is there anyone home?

No one knows where you are,
Did you fight in the war,
Lose your mind in a bar,
Or forget who you are?

Dream, dreams of love in the night,
Faith in hope's second sight,
In a future foretold,
Do you ever grow old?
Do the memories bite?

Deep, deeper into your soul,
How far down does it go?
Do you toss on the waves,
Messages nobody saves,
Are they lost in the flow?

Distant voice on the phone,
A million miles from your home,
'Cross the desert you roam,
Do you cross it alone?

No one knows what you are,
All they see are the scars,
And a door left ajar,
To a life so bizarre.

When, when will you ever see,
What you thought it would be,
Is it all in your mind,
Or the dreams that you find,
In your own destiny?

So, so you thought you could tell,
Heaven from Hell,
Did you find your way back,
Or fall through the cracks,
Of the soft tolling bell?

Are you ever alone,
Sitting cold by the phone,
Trying to find your way home,
Can you make it alone?

Do you know who you are?
You have traveled so far,
Dressed in feathers and tar,
Wounded deep in the war.

(Pink Floyd fans might notice a slight resemblance to "Wish You Were Here...this is intentional...thanks PF!

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View From The Hole

Tangled up and twisted,
	Confusion of the soul.
Darkness, rain and winter sky,
	Reflections from the hole.

Where fists of silence clench the throat,
	Of he who dares to speak.
And hidden voices call in jest,
	Beyond the dreams you seek.

When all the colors of your life,
	Are faded into gray.
And every life that mattered most,
	Is quietly swept away.

Cold visions creep in quiet rage,
	To snare the weakened heart.
And grasp it with their steely claws,
	To tear the dreams apart.

Where lies the hope of absent fear
	When courage takes it's leave?
And fallen stars you wished upon
	Leave nothing to believe.

Within the deepest black of night,
	Beyond the careless days,
The demons speak of life you sold
	 And dues you've yet to pay.

The wolves may dress in fine attire,
	When gathered at your door,
To feast upon the plans you've laid
	Then hunt for something more.

The love you locked away is lost,
	When others hold the key.
And love you spent on foolish hearts
	Is burned in memory.

The memories find you hiding there,
	In places where they grow.
And cloud the vision of your heart,
	Your view from in the hole.

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The Abyss

The following poem is an excerpt from a much larger 
work. The entire poem is a collaborative effort by myself 
and a great friend of mine. To read the poem in it's 
entirety go to "The Abyss".--Alan

The Abyss
By:  Alan Goodson and Michelle Bartley

Part I:  Michelle's Ballad

The chrysalis cleaved onto the wall, safe within its womb,
Laughing, smiling, feeling, crying, untouched in its tomb.
with life vibrantly growing, striving to be whole,
Restlessly awaiting to become a living soul.

I sensed no other presence, just desired to be free,
I did not want to be alone, as was my destiny.
When the sheath that wrapped about me, had finally fell away,
My essence soon discovered, there was a price to pay.

From within the vast abyss, from whence I took my flight,
shackled ankles with a golden cord, dangled me from the light,
A voice which cried out from within, was giving clear instruction,
"You must stay in this darkness, or meet your own destruction!"

With anguish swelling in my heart, and so much love to give,
Silently I contemplated, the life I had to live.
Others in the distance, all appeared to soar so high,
Like tiny grains of star dust, in the diamond studded sky,

Touching the golden confines, chained firmly to my feet,
I stared up at a pinpoint star, where the other end seemed to meet.
Sometimes I would climb the cord, to view what I could see,
But in that world of other souls, there was no place for me.

At times other beings would fall, and near me they would hedge,
Always I would caution them, "Do not go near the edge!"
But the deadly abyss was starving, for the lives of men,
Enticing them invariably, it would always lure them in.

"How many will it take" I scream, "before your satisfied,
"Do you realize how many, lonely tears I've cried?"
Then I sensed another presence, suspended by the pit,
Although, I had the urge to hide, I wanted to rush to it, .

Emerging out of no where, like a magnet I was drawn,
Another chained, abandoned heart, so much like my own!
As if searching in a mirror, I observe a cognate being,
A lifetime running parallel, filled with ravaged feeling.

"How long have you been here?"  I need not speak to be heard,
Like some universal union, your heart hears every word.
"What is our connection, why did our souls traverse?" 
Two guardians of this vast abyss, that share this dreaded curse!

I move cautiously near you, I feel the things you feel,
No longer truly certain if this is fantasy or real,
I can not in this darkness, discern your face or eyes,
I nervously, intensely wait, for your heart felt replies.

. . .Awaiting in patient silence


Part II:  Alan's Ballad 

With silent memories haunting, of the way I used to be,
I felt a distant yearning, of a spirit breaking free.
Not knowing of the future, and shackled by the past,
A heart in search of answers, to questions often asked.

I sensed a soul connected, to the burning coals of loss,
An emptiness within her, where her restless memories tossed.
Beyond my sense of reason, beyond the things I knew,
I glimpsed a new reality, which offered not a clue.

For every dream I dared to dream, and every life I held
Was quietly taken from my grasp, I heard the tolling bells.
The darkness, soft and hungry, the thief within the night,
It's mouth a black abyss, It's eyes devoid of sight.

No reason for it's hunger, no justice for it's choice,
It chose reluctant victims, I heard their final voice.
They called to me in visions, they reached for me in dreams,
"Come here and feel the sadness, come join us in our screams"

Their lives were left forsaken, in the claws of sudden death,
I felt their sad lamenting as they drew their final breath.
I looked into the darkness, the abyss grinning wide,
It's smile an empty promise, of a better world inside.

I often stopped to wonder, should I take that final step,
To join the souls I mourned for, held tightly in it's depth.
I screamed into the silence, my words a desperate call
"What do you want from me? Why must I lose you all?"

I stepped into it's craving, suspended helplessly,
For every soul I cared for was waiting there for me.
There seemed to be no reason, for the pain I had to feel,
So I offered up my future for the past that seemed too real.

But there within the darkness, I glimpsed a golden chord,
It stretched to kiss the heavens, it seemed to touch the stars.
I sensed a distant presence, calling out to me,
"I've been within that darkness, there's nothing there to see".

"Hold tight the cord of freedom, it leads us to the light,
The past can hold no answers to the questions of the night"
"There's something waiting for you somewhere, you'll find it in your time,
Your heart's a lonely prison, when your soul commits no crime."

"There are reasons for your sadness, there are truths you've yet to see,
You're here to guard the abyss, but beyond you'll find your dreams."
I reached to touch the glowing cord, then felt another hand.
And in that vicious nightmare, I began to understand.

Another soul was waiting, another heart was free,
Released by fate not understood, she held on tight to me.
She'd traveled through the darkness, connected with my fears,
I felt her softly tremble, I sensed her salty tears.

Suspended by the golden cord, our weakness overcome,
We felt a strange vibration, a soft and gentle hum.
Above us glowed the future, below us was the past.
The answers kept their silence to the questions we had asked.

Patience grows thin in the darkness...

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My Friend

So many roads we travel, that seem to have no end,
But the ones that really matter, are traveled with a friend.
A cosmic twin connected, with dreams much like our own,
Someone to stand beside us, when we may feel alone.

They wipe away the sadness, and dry the falling tears,
Fill our lives with laughter, and share our deepest fears.
They hold our hands to guide us, when we have lost our way,
And understand the things we feel, but find so hard to say.

A friend is like a flower, in the gardens of our soul,
With roots around our heart, needing only love to grow.
And in their simple beauty, we can find the things we need,
To make the garden grow by spreading out their tender seeds.

A shoulder we can lean on, when we are feeling weak,
They share our life's adventures, and all the dreams we seek.
A shelter from the wind and rain, a port in every storm.
A blanket we can wrap around, to keep us safe and warm.

A light within our darkest nights, on whom we can depend,
We hold a piece of heaven, when we have found a friend.
Someone to tell our secrets to, and hold them safe inside,
Someone who sees behind our walls, where we may often hide.

A person to believe in us, when no one seems to care,
Who'll listen to our problems, anytime or anywhere.
Someone who doesn't judge us, or pretend to understand,
Accepts us as we are without conditions or demands.

A friend will walk beside us, not in front or far behind,
Someone who sees us clearly, when others are so blind.
A person we can trust in, to be there when we call,
Who'll pick us up and dust us off, if we should ever fall.

And if our hearts should break, they'll hold it tight until it mends,
For there is nothing stronger than the bond between two friends.
And every word I've written has never felt so true,
I know because I've felt it all, by being friends with you.

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Sometimes a deeper sadness creeps to grab you from behind,
	And snares your weakened heart with steely claws,
It blocks the light of reason from the dreams you'd hoped to find,
	To crush them into dust within it's jaws.

Left standing in the darkness with the pieces scattered 'round,
	It taunts you to relieve the growing pain.
Then nothing seems to matter but the solitary sound,
	Of voices in a mind thats gone insane.

You're left with vacant choices of a life that lost it's glow,
	With little to believe and much to learn.
But no one seems to notice and no one seems to know
	About the final bridge you're soon to burn.

A life with many questions, but answers far and few
	Between the choices that you had to make.
When life becomes a mystery, without a single clue,
	You make your final choice and last mistake.

Your suicide is painless, except to those you leave,
	To try and understand your senseless death.
With questions running rampant upon the web you weave,
	You say good-bye and take your final breath.

And then the only question that matters anymore,
	Is left on every trembling lip that cries.
They'll mourn you in your passing beyond that final door,
	But never understand the reasons why.

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I Speak

I speak in tongues to no one there,
In silent rooms, where no one cares.
And those who peer through windows clear,
Have filtered views of thoughts concealed.

I say hello but no one hears,
Just words that dance through salty tears,
Across the lines to distant lands,
Small grains of thought on desert sands.

I walk through walls without a sound,
Where space and time become unbound,
To mingle with the faceless crowds,
And read my silent thoughts aloud.

I wander through the empty hall,
Like a shadow puppet on the wall,
No light can ever penetrate,
Nor ray of sun illuminate.

I seek the truth beneath the lies,
With little hope for compromise,
Where black is black and white is white,
And storm clouds form where they unite.

I hope for more while finding less,
When sins revealed are not confessed,
While hours tick away with haste,
And time is all that's left to waste.

I dream of peace beneath the stars,
But wake to sounds of distant wars,
Where mothers pray for dying sons,
Who traded toys for smoking guns.

I search for words I cannot find,
To light a candle for the blind,
Who wouldn't see it anyway,
Or hear the words I meant to say.

I yearn for love but wonder why,
When no one cares enough to try,
And fear creeps in to steal the light,
From those who turn to face the night.

I cry in pain that no one feels,
An empty world where nothing's real,
And as I die, I hope to smile,
I speak, but only for a while.

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In silence I surrender to the dying of the day,
And shiver in the cold of winter's fire,
Beyond the last conclusions of decisions I have made,
With little hope to take my thoughts much higher.

For what it's worth what did I gain,
By joining in the race to beat the sun,
And in it's blind contention for the prize I'll never see,
It sinks towards the races yet to run.

And every single step that took me on towards the night,
Leaves footprints of remorse along the way.
The bitter salt of tears I shed will fill their empty void,
To mark the path I took throughout the day.

	Surrender to the moments lost,
	Surrender to the night,
	Surrender to the choices made,
	Should they be wrong or right.

For every man's condition is a product of the past,
No one to blame or take the heavy load.
Worlds may rise then crumble from the weight of worthless dreams,
But every dream we buy should not be sold.

The sour fruit of compromise grows heavy on the vine,
Then wraps it's tangled web around your soul,
To strangle best intentions that we may not recognize,
And mock us as we stumble on our goals.

The words we leave unspoken have no meaning to reveal,
When held inside too long they lose their way.
But every thought we share may be the key to set us free,
From prisons built from things we didn't say.

	Surrender to the moments lost,
	Surrender to the night,
	Surrender to the choices made,
	Should they be wrong or right.

What worth is there within the night when lying down to sleep,
When living in a dream while we're awake?
What fortunes do we leave behind for others yet to come,
When all we ever seem to do is take?

Too many roads we choose to walk with eyes so tightly closed,
And then we wonder where the day has gone.
No light to shine upon our soul through the windows of our eyes,
So hard to find the path that leads us home.

And in the shadows of our heart the light grows ever dim,
When every choice seems bound to cause us pain,
Then as the darkness falls it covers plans we should have made,
The chance is gone and nightfall stakes it's claim.

	Surrender to the moments lost,
	Surrender to the night,
	Surrender to the choices made,
	Should they be wrong or right.

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A Different Reality

Lonely is the life of a dreamer...Reality's refugee...

...Like a poet, aware of subtle emotions. Conscious of the

ultimate possibilities surrounding every circumstance...

...A dreamer a different kind of

music. But such a lonely dance it is...While others may

see the writing on the wall, the dreamer reads between the

lines, always in search of the true meaning. Reaching out,

in vain at times, to grasp the final implications of any given

situation...Though able to touch the deepest emotions of those

he loves, he finds it difficult to express his own...Perhaps

the most misunderstood of all personalities, a dreamer looks

for the underlying theme, a wishful view of a different reality.

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from "A Different Reality"
		Dreams ...

				Scattered clouds of imagination,

	Drifting silently...

						Softly ...

		Across the borders of my mind.

				A magical formation,

						Subconscious decoration,

	Created by design.

	Dreams ...

				A never ending picture show,

		Only I can see.

				Visions of the great unknown,

						Reality's refugee ...


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Chasing Shadows

Somewhere lost inside a memory,
	There was a man
		I used to know.
But he disappeared one evening,
	Where lonely thoughts
		And lovers go.

Now I follow in his shadow,
	Still hoping we
		May meet someday.
Though I fear if it should happen,
	We wouldn't have
		A thing to say.

It's not easy to remember,
	A face that once
		I knew so well.
Life must have changed the image,
	Or was it time?
		It's hard to tell.

Still life keeps drifting onward,
	So many things
		I've yet to learn.
Though the past is not forgotten,
	The future waits,
		The world must turn.

I continue on my journey,
	Not knowing if
		We'll meet again.
Holding on to that one memory,
	Until I know
		I've reached the end.

And if our paths are destined,
	To cross one more
		I'll finally see,
If the shadow I've been chasing,
	Was really just
		A part of me.

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Two Poets

What darker rooms are held within
The temples of their soul?
Where demons ply their haunting trade
To dim their inner glow.

The shadows of their past regrets,
Like blackest funereal shrouds,
Have made them mute to things they know
Unable to speak aloud.

But in the quietness of their heart,
A voice can still be heard,
A distant call to speak in verse,
With rhythmic flowing words.

Two ships set sail from separate lands,
Adrift within the night,
No course is set, no mission planned,
Just searching for the light.

Their vessels formed of flesh and blood,
They navigate with rhyme
The oceans of their deepest thoughts,
Across the seas of time.

A journey of discovery,
Beyond the simpler truths.
To solve the deeper mysteries
Encountered in their youth.

The storms that rage in maddened skies
Have forced them from the helm,
Below the decks to darker rooms,
Where all the demons dwell.

And as they drift in angry seas,
They open many doors,
In search of charts to guide their way
To peaceful, gentle shores.

They stumble in the darkness of
The questions in their mind,
To seek the answers hidden there
They feel they have to find.

So weary from the battles waged,
Against their mortal strife,
They hope for rest that seldom comes,
For solace in their life.

With growing fear they look within
The shelter of their souls,
While far above the storm grows fierce,
The winds of change still blow.

And when the storm has reached it's height,
They see a glowing key,
It lies within the darkest room,
That leads to destiny.

It fits the locks that held them bound,
Within their deepest fear,
Of sailing on through time alone,
Without a purpose clear.

Ascending with the keys in hand,
Escaping from their hell,
With verses dancing in their thoughts,
And no more dreams to sell.

Their battered ships have held them safe,
Though forcing them inside,
But now they're armed with tools to fight
The demons where they hide.

Above, the sun is breaking free,
A gift of wondrous light.
And on the far horizon there
Appears a ship in sight.

They each can see more clearly now,
Across the rolling seas,
Another soul who holds the key,
To doors of poetry.

For Michelle

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Choosy Beggars<

If beggars could be choosers
What would the beggars choose?
For those who've lost most everything
There's little left to loose.

Would they choose to be a rich man
With cars and diamond rings?
Or would they laugh at those who pray
For all those foolish things?

Or choose to be a working man,
And slave from dusk to dawn,
And break their backs to pay the bills
For things they'll never own.

Or would they all be actors,
On a stage beneath the lights,
Pretending to be someone else
In the lonely game of life?

Or maybe they'd be artists
Painting pictures of their dreams,
And hoping that the critics
Could tell them what they mean.

If beggars could be choosers,
What would the beggars choose?
For if they're left with nothing
There is nothing else to lose.

Perhaps they'd all be judges
Passing laws across the land,
And fight for rights and justice,
For the common fellow man.

Or maybe they'd be doctors
Searching for the final cure,
To save mankind forever
Keep him safe and sane and pure.

Or would they all be preachers,
With salvation up for sale?
Just send a small donation
And save your soul from hell.

They might choose to all be farmers,
Growing food to feed the world,
Bringing hope for life and laughter
To some starving boy or girl.

If beggars could be choosers,
What would the beggars choose?
For those who want for nothing
Have everything to lose.

They'd choose to be forgiven
For the sins their eyes conceal.
They'd choose to be remembered
For the wisdom they reveal.

They'd choose to have some dignity,
A little peace of mind.
They'd choose to have you smile at them
As you handed them a dime.

They'd choose to have a family
Or at least a friend who cared.
They'd choose to spend just one long day
Not lonely, sad or scared.

If beggars could be choosers,
They'd be like you and I,
They'd choose to have some choices,
As their time goes quickly by.

Written for Ray Guy, my cosmic brother- by special request

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Time- Part VII (A New Beginning)

There walk lives and loves remembered
In the shadows of my mind,
And despite their fading footsteps
They were never far behind.

And they pray for my salvation
On this sad and lonely road,
As I feel their spirit wisdom
While my silent dreams unfold.

Seems the hands of time sweep forward
In their never ending quest,
And tomorrow holds forgiveness
For my present sins confessed.

But the future's lack of promise
Hold's no comfort for this day,
And the past can steal the pleasures
Of a thousand joyous days.

Now the dreams I held so tightly
Seem to scatter in the wind,
For wars of love were fought and lost
Leaving honor to defend.

And the angels thought from heaven
Can be devils in disguise,
When the gift of sacred promises,
All fade to bitter lies.

But the heart beats ever stronger,
And it carries me along.
And the music of the ages
Still flows deep within my songs.

For in every new beginning
Lies the ash of bridges burned,
And the hope for new tomorrows
Lies on bones of lessons learned.

And their lives no man so righteous
As the man who gives his soul
To the dream of love's sweet promise
Where the rainbow gardens grow.

For in time there'll be an answer,
And in time I'll find the way
To forget the many sorrows
And the dreams of yesterday.

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The Wolf

Silent against the night, dark coat
shimmering blackly, reflected by trails of tears
in dark alleys of fear held close to the heart of all
who feel his shadow caressing their pain.

Eyes shining through devastated dreams of love
found shattered against the cold hard stone
of unfaithful demons professing everlasting devotion,
but to none other than themselves.

Feeding upon the lies and immoral meanderings
 of heartless thieves who steal hope from promises,
leaving behind empty shells to gather the remains
of misplaced desires turned to dust.

Teeth glinting bright, but stained with the blood
of passion spent foolishly on empty souls,
who are bound only by their profane vows of
unholy matrimony to their own selfish compulsions.

Sniffing the air, savoring the stench of shattered lives,
laying to rot in the emotional gutter of discontent,
where colorless rainbows lead only to pots of
tarnished coins turning quickly to rust.

Prowling stealthily through the debris of innocence forsaken,
discarded and forever lost to the wrath of wanton lust,
tearing at the throat of soft victims held helpless beneath
the strength of dark angels of desire.

The Wolf, dark scavenger of broken hearts,
lies in satiated repose, having fed on feasts of
anguish, dreams quietly through the day,
knowing the night comes quickly and the hunt goes on.


to index

In the Shadows

Rain is falling,
The future's calling,
In silent wonder,
I hear the thunder.

Sometimes, I'm searching for some answers,
In this passion play, I'm just a lonely dancer.
The world turns, a new day is dawning,
The past sits in the shadows like a warning.

Somewhere there's a book that stands open,
With all the plans made and promises broken.
A page turns, in silence while I'm dreaming,
In a strange world where time has no meaning.

	In the shadows,
	Someone's standing.
	Patient waiting

	Rain is falling,
	Voices calling.
	A new tomorrow,
	I must follow.

Many road left behind me not taken,
Many dreams left in darkness forsaken,
Like a candle forgotten, left burning,
When the flame dies there can be no returning.

Now a tide flows like waves of emotion,
Striking castles built next to the ocean.
And the walls crumble into the blue sea,
Leaving nothing but sand castle memories.

	In the shadows,
	Someone's standing.
	Patient waiting,
                Rain is falling,
	The future's calling.
	In silent wonder,
	I hear the thunder.

There is darkness ahead and behind me,
Where the echoes of time often find me.
I am touched by a whisper of sorrow,
For yesterdays that were once my tomorrows.


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Just Another Writer

Well I'm just another writer,
In this lonely passion play,
And I know I've said it all before,
But I have some more to say.

I could talk about the reasons,
That our love was meant to be,
I could tell you all the dreams I've had
Or what you mean to me.

I could tell you that I need you,
And I want you in my life,
I could ask you to believe in me,
Or just to be my wife.

I could try to make you understand,
The man that I've become,
Or to beg for your forgiveness,
For some things I've said or done.

But it wouldn't make a difference,
'Cause you love me anyway.
I can hear it in the way you talk,
And everything you say.

So I'll just sit here and write for you,
And try to make it rhyme,
Like the rhythms of our hearts that called
Us both through space and time.

And I'll think about the beauty that
I see within your smiles,
All the special gifts you've given me,
'Cross the long and lonely miles.

And I'll hold you tight within my thoughts,
'Till I hold you in my arms.
While I try to touch you in my dreams,
To keep you safe and warm.

I'll remember all the years gone by,
How I kept you in my soul,
How the special love you shared with me,
Never lost it's golden glow.

I'll recall the times I thought of you,
In a million memories,
How I never stopped believing,
You were meant to be with me.

And I'll love you from a distance,
'Till the distance disappears,
Then I'll love you every moment,
If I live a million years.

But still it won't be long enough,
To tell you how I feel,
About the dreams you've made come true,
Or how you've made them real.

'Cause I'm just another writer,
With too many things to say,
And I'll never find the words I need,
To explain those things away.

I could say how much I miss you,
How I've wanted to be there,
How it hurts to be away from you,
How it doesn't seem too fair.

Or talk about the future,
All the things we've yet to find,
When our bodies are together,
Like we are within our minds.

Replay those stolen moments,
That we shared not long ago,
How everything was perfect,
How our love so freely flowed.

But nothing I could say would be,
Much different than before,
And all that I could say to you,
Would tell you nothing more.

I'm just another writer.
But every word was true,
So I'll say the ones that matter most,
Forever, I'll love you.


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Coffee Shop

Old men with nothing to do,
Who haven't gotten started yet...

A circle of old hot and bitter,
like some memories of youth gone by.
Reliving the past with half-remembered stories,
half-baked lies, and imagined truths only half-discovered.
Their days nothing more than fallen leaves
swept up in the cold, hard winds of time.

Remaining days of their lives measured in cups,
Cups of sorrowful lament, filled to the brim
with memories of paths not traveled,
choices never considered, chances never taken,
love never found, or lost in the haze of soft regret.

Untapped wells of experience seeping through,
to form stagnant pools of advice for youth
who don't listen, don't care, don't know or wonder
about frail words spoken in meaningful jest,
by old men whose lives don't seem to matter anymore.

Old men with nothing to do,
Finished before the day begins...

Left to compare scars of battles with life
and secrets of success never quite obtained.
Steam rising from their cups, like the spirit
of their youthful dreams, drifting off into thin air,
to mingle with the stale smoke of bridges burned.

Weathered faces hiding behind wrinkled masks,
sculptured by pain earned from hard work,
harder lessons, and hardest times.
Arguing over the bill that comes due
because they feel all their debts have
been paid in full, with interest.

The hands of the clock move more swiftly now,
speeding onward towards eternity, towards rest,
towards another world where the coffee is free,
the waitress doesn't expect a tip,
and the tables are always clean.

Old men with nothing to do,
And an eternity to finish...


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Broken Rules

The game is played by broken rules, But who should give a damn. Referees...shrill whistles silent against the roaring crowd, Retire quickly in the face of anarchy, Leaving fools to grope blindly for worthless treasures glinting bright in the sun but tarnishing quickly when mists of darkness settle over the glow. Still waters run deep in streams of doubt, But silence runs deeper than that. Words...unspoken or unheard, still echo and flail, In search of lips to part or ears to bend, Then fade and shrivel on untended vines of discomfort which lay tangled and twisted; webs of subtle deceit whose willing victims lie close together in separate worlds. The guiding stars lead no one home, When every wish falls short. Their light...diffused through storm clouds of discontent, Fades quickly in the rooms of dark regret, With curtains drawn tight against the grains of truth that blow endlessly on the winds of the spirit, seeking shelter from the storm as they tap on the windows of the soul. Seekers of truth and knowledge go blind When they see but do not believe. Faith...unclothed and exposed, left shivering in shame Pleads guilty in courts of the damned, As mortal frailties forge links to confine the innocence of childhood's shattered vows and promises, which died before birth. The fears held deep within the heart Feed quietly on dreams of the soul. Love...a two edged sword of need and desire, Cuts deeply and leaves its own scars, While Venus and Mars hold hands in the dark remembering the battles they waged in the light, plotting subtle revenge with casual cruelty. The game is played by broken rules, But who should give a damn. Referees...weary and abused, have all gone home, Leaving fairness to fend for itself as the crowd grows silent, While down on the field the players seem lost and confused without rules to break, and no one to stop them, and no one to care. 08/06/97

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