From: Alan W. Goodson
Sent: Tuesday, November 09, 1999 9:20 AM
To: God, c/o Sharon Angleman
Subject: Dear God
I've never done anything like this before but I hope You don't mind me speaking to You this way. You gave me a gift a long time ago that may have even saved my life a few times-- the ability to make sense of my thoughts and put them on paper-- so I thought it would be appropriate to use that gift to give something back to You.
All I really want to do is just to say "thank You" and I guess I could just say that and be done with it but it doesn't seem to be enough. People say "it's the thought that counts" but I wonder if You might think that it's the feelings BEHIND the thought that count. There is a difference I think. Anyway, I want to talk to You a bit about my feelings that are behind this "thank You".
You've given me a lot of gifts along the way and I don't mean to sound ungrateful for those-- good health, my children, a good mind-- but that's not what this letter is about. See, You've given me a very special and unexpected gift this time. One that few people will ever have even if they do have the health and children and mind. And perhaps this one didn't save my physical life, but it did give me back the meaning to put into that life because it saved my heart. You know just how to pick out the right gifts too. I stand up and applaud You on that. I'm very impressed. You gave me a beautiful woman with whom I intend to share the rest of my life.
I just want to talk about Sharon here and what it means to have her in my life. Despite all the other gifts I've been given, the one that I searched and yearned and hoped for the most was the love of a woman who would be my mate until the end of my time here. I thought I had found it a time or two but there always seemed to be something missing. I tried. I really did. Every time. I made a lot of mistakes I'm sure, but I learned from them and I tried to be a better person each time. I knew I had a lot of love inside me to give to another person but I just couldn't find the right one to receive it and understand it in the manner in which I knew how to give.
Anyway, You know how all that worked out. And I'm sorry about the divorce stuff. I know You frown on things like that, but I also believe You want Your children to be happy so I hope You can forgive me for not being happy before, and for all those times I thought You didn't exist, and for all those times I cursed You. Very bad attitude on my part. But You must have understood, because why else would You have given me this most wonderful gift of the perfect woman?
She really is beautiful. A real work of art. And I'm not just saying that to stay in Your good graces. She's got just the right amount of everything in all the right places. Everything just fits her so well and we fit TOGETHER so well. She mentioned it to me first and she's right. We're like interlocking pieces of a puzzle when we touch and hold each other. And her eyes...gorgeous eyes...I love brown eyes, always have...deep, earthy, sensual eyes...but hers...MAN! It's like they are lit from behind and I just want to look into them...be absorbed by them. And the smile...oh God...You REALLY outdid Yourself there. When she smiles at me and turns those eyes on me...well...I just get lost in this huge wave of emotion and know I must be the luckiest man on earth to be able to experience that smile.
And when we make love...I'm sure You don't mind if I mention that do You? Of course, You wouldn't. You gave that to us so we could physically express our love to one another. And we do...we really MAKE LOVE...share it...give it back and forth to each other and drive each other crazy with pleasure. I have never experienced anything like that. Didn't even know it was possible. I love her SO much and she makes ME feel so special that I want to pleasure her over and over and see that smile and that far-away look when her eyes seem to melt and...well...it's just awesome. SHE is awesome...physically and every other way. She gives so freely of herself and she knows all the right things to say to make me feel good about myself.
She's so smart too. We can talk about anything and I don't feel like I have to hold anything back or choose my words carefully or explain everything or even talk at all if I don't want to. She understands because she WANTS to and that makes me feel worthy and important enough to be listened to. She's sharp as a tack too...very intuitive...and able to express herself so I don't have to worry or wonder if I'm understanding her. We communicate so well and it makes it so much easier and fun to talk about everything we feel. That's very important to me and it makes ME think. I'm not used to having someone encourage and inspire me in those ways and I think I've needed that for a very long time. But You would know that too, wouldn't You?
And You gave her such a deep soul and a warm heart. I feel her depth and sincerity, her passion, and her love so strongly. She's sensual and sincere and not afraid to expose any part of herself to me, physically or emotionally. There are no walls or hidden places between us and that just makes everything more real and honest.
When You first gave her to me I wondered why it took so long. I mean, I'm not getting any younger You know. But I think I'm beginning to understand now, the more I see and know her. I guess, even for You, it takes a long time to produce such perfection AND be able to pack all of it into such a small and exquisitely delectable package. And, of course, I had a few things I needed to learn before I could appreciate just how unique and beautiful she is.
I know she must be very special to You too. I imagine You think of her as one of Your masterpieces. You spent a lot of time on her getting everything just right. You should be very proud as I'm sure You are. I saw how You protected her in that plane crash too. You made a little island of safety for her when everything around her was damaged or destroyed. I'm not sure why You picked someone like me to be the recipient of such a gift but I don't take it lightly. She's a special Angel of Yours and I PROMISE You I will love her and cherish her and spend the rest of whatever life You allow me taking care of her heart and soul if You will just let me keep her. I'll do everything I can to make her happy and to show her how important she is to me. I'll protect her and hold her close to me forever so she doesn't have to be lonely or scared or ever wonder if I love her. I'll always be faithful to her and make her comfort and happiness my number one priority because I do love her SO much and I don't want to disappoint You since You are trusting me with her. And, if I ever fail to do any of those things, or if my attempts aren't up to Your standards, You just reach down and give me a swift kick in the...well, You know...or a lightening bolt or SOMETHING to get my attention.
I'm sorry I waited this long to properly thank You for giving her to me but I've been so busy just being in love with her and drowning in that feeling. I hope You've heard all the little thank You's along the way though. I shouldn't ask You for anything more because You've already given me the greatest gift a man could ever receive but I do have two little requests. No big hurry or anything...just whenever You have the time and IF You think I deserve the favors.
The first thing may sound a little selfish, but I think You'll understand. I know how special Sharon must be to You because I know how special she is to me. I would like to be able to be the perfect man for her just like she is the perfect woman for me. So, if there is anything in particular I need to work on, if You could just let me know and help me to BE that person I would appreciate it.
And the other thing...and please don't take this the wrong way...but I have found one, itsy bitsy, teeny tiny flaw in her that I was wondering if You might be able to fix. I know You don't need my help but I will try very hard to assist You if You wish. She's said a few times that she hopes she can learn to do the things for me that I do for her. But she already DOES these things and I am so happy with her that I can't even express it to her the way I would like. So, if You could just let her see her own beauty and specialness when I try to show it to her...well...that would be the ultimate. And along with that, as far as the things she does for me already, if You could just very quietly whisper to her every now and then... "Sharon, you're doing it right"...
Thank You God, for everything...and especially for her.
Your Forever Grateful Child,